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Friday, 19 October 2012

The "YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP" news - Travolta hoping to put the willies up as Gay Ghost, Bieber's Illness solved and Jim'll f**k it!

Troubled star, John Travolta is looking at a superhero franchise to reignite his failing career. You really couldn't make this up but the Scientologist (AKA Wacko), who continues to  fight off rumors that he is gay, is looking to develop a film based around a little known DC character called - wait for it: THE GAY GHOST.

And sticking with all things masculine - Justin Bieber, who recently vomited on stage during a live show, while the track he had been miming to continued to play yesterday revealed what the problem was. Apparently he heard his own music and started to hurl chunks. The Archive is sympathetic as Justin's music also causes extreme nausea here.

Jaden Smith AKA privileged little runt is rapping about being super rich and how chicks dig it in his latest song.
Jaden’s flash tune comes amid the crippling economic crisis enveloping much of the world’s population.
With a laidback vocal style (IE - sounding like an out of tune stoner), he proffers a list of reasons that make him the coolest kid on the block.He teams his bravado lyrics with cocky smiles and a couple of glittery diamond ear studs.Aside from amassing a fortune simply by being the son of Will, Jaden’s earned huge pay packets in his own right courtesy of starring roles in such movies as The Pursuit Of Happyness and The Karate Kid remake - yeah, like his casting had nothing to do with daddy.

Jimmy Saville who died in 2011 is still taking up pages and pages in the newspapers over the allegations that throughout his career he was banging young girls, and now a leaked email printed in the Times seems to suggest the real reasons that the Newsnight investigation into Saville's randy rampage was really cancelled. The email from a press officer to BBC executives appears to contradict the corporation’s official statements about why the BBC Two programme was cancelled just before Christmas.
It discloses how the investigation was so well advanced that the press office was preparing "lines to take" in response to anticipated hostile media inquiries.The email, leaked to The Times, refers to journalists on Newsnight "focusing on allegations of abuse".The press officer, Helen Deller, writes that "we may well need to do a bit of managing around this" and that "we should bear in mind how BBC complaints team respond".

The Saville story is shocking the nation - I used to watch his show Jim'll Fix it every week as a child, and he was always my favourite host on Top of the Pops, but now other celebrities are being dragged into the scandal and not only is Gary Glitter (predictable) and Freddie Star (say it's not true) implicated, but now they are saying that Jeremy Beadle may have had a small hand in it, and that TV legend and Antenna repair man Rod Hull had been fisting a young bird throughout the Seventies.
In another couldn't make it up news story - Lady Ga Ga's butt is being made into a handbag. The designer bag based on the shape of Ga Ga's butt. Mind you she's gained a lot of weight recently so expect a super sized shopping bag to follow. The pop star's close friend and stylist Nicola Formichetti, the designer at the head of Mugler  revealed his first leather goods collection for the French house at Paris Fashion Week.

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