THE LAST JEDI...THE BEST STAR WARS MOVIE SINCE THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

I'm not what you'd call a rabid Star Wars fan - I can take it or leave it, though there was a time.....

A long long time ago...

I was 11 when Star Wars first hit cinemas and I was immediately captivated. We'd never seen anything like it - it was like the way those Saturday morning Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers serials they used to show on TV played in the young mind. On the screen those shows were black and white, with ropey special effects too basic even for Doctor Who, but when filtered through a young imagination they looked amazing and that was 1977's Star Wars - It looked absolutely amazing straight out of the box.

It had it all - adventure, a touch of light mysticism provided by the jedi knights and square jawed heroes like Luke Skywalker. It also had the lovable anti-hero in Han Solo and cute comedic robots. But it seemed so real, so vital - it even took the studio by surprise - shooting went millions over budget, so much so that 20th Century Fox even gave George Lucus the merchandising rights if he took a cut in his directors fee, it initially only had a limited release - it was huge, though and alongside the previous year's, Jaws heralded the age of the Blockbuster.

Back then I was a rabid fan - I had the lunch box, I bought the comics and the spin-off paperback novels and I had a few of the action figures. I loved it and my love continued through The Empire Strikes Back and to some extent the far too childish, toy spin-off centric, Return of the Jedi.

Years went by - we all got older and I saw the prequel movies - though only on DVD. I didn't go to the cinema - my Star Wars fixation was part of my childhood. The prequels left me cold - especially the first one which looked like a cinematic computer game, but the other two were entertaining enough.

And then came the new movies, The Force Awakens (2015)  -  I went to the cinema for that one since it was billed as a genuine sequel to the original trilogy and brought back beloved characters. Yeah, I was disappointed.

And so it was only yesterday that I sat down to watch the second sequel, 2022's The Last Jedi - presented in a lovely looking 4k Blu-ray.

 I was once again sucked into the world I'd first witnessed back in 1977.  I know the rabid fans dislike this one - because it dares to be different, much in the way Empire Strikes Back did.

 This time Luke is an aged, washed up Jedi who had lost his belief in the force. He has become Obi Wan Kenobi - well, if Obi Wan was a hopeless loser. He spends his days drinking milk directly from the teats of some strange looking creatures and living within his own mind while he awaits his inevitable demise. Cue  role reversal and it is a young lady, Ray (Daisy Ridley) who is the young Jedi, the person whom Luke once was, seeking guidance from the reluctant master.

While all that is going on we have the usual spectacular space battles to cut to when the sight of a pouting aged Jedi slows the story too much, and it all leads to a great ending that is, for once, not totally positive. Much in the way the ending of Empire Strikes Back was not totally positive.

I really enjoyed that - An intelligent, complex fantasy movie and that's not something one can say about most of the Star Wars output.

Solo first Star Wars movie to be regarded a flop

The Hollywood Reporter is stating that the Star Wars movie, Solo has dropped 65% of it box office after only two weeks, and this follows an underwhelming opening for the movie. Solo: A Star Wars Story is losing momentum quickly at the box office, even with a relatively quiet weekend free of any new blockbuster competition.

Solo"has now earned $148.9 million domestically, which is still shy of Rogue One's December 2016 opening weekend of $155.1 million and over $135 million short of where Rogue One was in its second weekend.The 65 percent drop is one of the highest in recent "Star Wars" history, although it is less steep than the second-week fall of the franchise's last film, Star Wars: The Last Jedi,which slid by 67.5 percent in weekend two in December — but that was also after a $220 million debut.

The Han Solo origin story missed its projected North American opening targets by about $30million and things haven’t improved. This past weekend, ‘Solo’ pulled in $29.3 million which represents a huge 65% drop from its opening weekend.

Buzzfeed’s Adam B. Vary has posted a comprehensive breakdown of ‘Solo’s numbers relative to the last three Star Wars movies. He writes: “Internationally, the film has made only $115.3M to date. With a reported budget of over $250M, it is officially the first Star Wars movie to flop.”

The film  had specific troubles that made it more expensive than it was intended to be—which means it needs to earn even more in order to break even. Firing Solo’s original directors Phil Lord & Chris Miller and reshooting much of it is what ballooned the film’s budget to insanely high levels.

Han Solo New Trailer Released

Reports are that the studio are panicking over the Han Solo movie, leaks reported on fan sites have said that the movie is a mess, and to be honest I've long lost interest in the Star Wars movies. I'm way too old for this shit -  I've not even seen the last one nor that Rouge One. But Star Wars remains a huge part of Pop Culture and so the Archive will continue to report on the franchise.

Disney have just released a new trailer for Solo.The trailer gives the best look at what the film is about. The trailer opens with Qi’Ra (played by Game of Thrones’ Emilia Clarke) asking Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) if he’s after revenge, money, or something else. Before long, Han is recruited for a job: telling Woody Harrelson’s Tobias Beckett, that he’s a driver and that he’s waited a long time for “a shot like this.” The film certainly has the feel of a heist story: we see Han, Qi’Ra and Tobias recruit a very suave Lando Calrissian (“Everything you’ve heard about me is true.”), while Beckett tells Han that once he joins, he’s part of this life forever. There’s also plenty of high flying action as the team trades shots with Imperial troopers and fend off TIE Fighters in the Millennium Falcon.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens...an old dude's thoughts.

I intended on waiting for the DVD, but in the end the hype,  and the instances of my eleven year old daughter, got to me and I trundled into my local multiplex to view the latest Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens. 

I'm hardly what you could call a Star Wars geek, but I was 11 years old when the first movie came out and like most kids back in 77, I loved it - bought the comics, carried the lunchbox to school - that sort of thing. Over the years I must have seen Star Wars umpteen times and like most people I hated the prequel movies. In fact I can't really call myself a fan of the original trilogy, - well not fully. Since I don't like Return of the Jedi, finding it incredibly childish after the brilliance of Empire Strikes Back. But you know sitting there in the cinema, with incredibly low expectations born out of cynicism, I found myself feeling like that twelve year old kid again. The new Star Wars movie really is, in the words of that long gone twelve year old, superb and fabby! Though when you get outside you realise it was OK, but forgettable.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW - Don't read any further if you've not seen the movie and don't want to know several of the major plot points, but the film's been out a few weeks now and I can't really explain what I liked about this film without talking over some  of the finer points. Firstly bringing back the original cast is the best thing about the movie, and tossing Luke Skywalker into the background and concentrating on Han Solo is even better . If both of these characters were given equal prominence then the new characters would have struggled to make an impact, but this time Han drives the movie while Luke's part is merely a cameo played out right at the end, just as the credits roll - this creates incredible anticipation for the next Star Wars movie. And of course Luke Skywalker was kind of a boring character next to Han Solo, who truly is the coolest guy in the universe. 

Next time out Han won't be around to overshadow Luke and everyone else, so  it should be all systems go...no  that's Thunderbirds! I'm getting my ancient franchises all mixed up.

Harrison Ford is brilliant as the aged version of the character that originally made him a superstar - he's greyer. more wrinkled and a little slower but he's still the same old lovable rogue. He also steals every scene he's in - from the moment Han and Chewie take to the screen, this movie really comes alive. And -

  AND HERE'S THAT BIG SPOILER- when Han Solo cashes in his chips it truly is an emotional moment. I'm no longer that twelve year old kid that first fell in love with the intergalactic con man, , I'm a fifty year old guy with more than a few wrinkles myself, and yet the death of Han Solo brought a tear to me eye. My reaction, like Chewi's was astonishment and anger and I could have quite happily blasted the killer, Kylo Ren (actually the son of Han and  Leia) myself. I guess, this is testament to the skill of the filmmakers but we have so much invested in Han Solo that his loss...well, it makes you feel bad inside, almost like you've lost someone real. And in a way we have - back in 77 we all went to see Star Wars, and for most of us the focus was on Han Solo. All the mystical mumbo-jumbo about the force was just filler...the real story was the adventures of Solo and his walking carpet Chewbacca. And so when Han Solo died it was as if a piece of that twelve year old I'd once been, had died with him. Here lies innocence and a belief that movie characters are immortal.

The new cast members, Finn and Rey who are intended to be the new blood  are superb and no doubt the younger viewers (the true audience for this movie) will latch onto them, but for all us ageing viewers the focus is on the old timers, - the originals you might say. And Luke turning up at the end, looking not unlike the way we first saw Obi Wan in the original Star Wars, and not even getting a single line,  gets us all revved up for the next movie. Yep Han Solo is dead but hey, life goes on and we want to see if this aged version of Luke Skywalker has any balls. This character who spent most of the original movie wanting to shag his sister. admittedly he didn't know at that point that she was his sister, is going to be the focus for the next Star Wars movie. His sister, Leia of course will also be a part of that next Star Wars movie, but she did so little in The Force Awakens, that she wasn't really important and might as well have not been there at all. Let's hope they give her more to do next time, but please don't get her back in that bikini from Return of the Jedi - a fully clothed Leia is a better option... and who, would have  thought I would have ever said that!

Star Wars: Han goes solo

It's no real surprise that Disney would want to make the most of the Star Wars franchise and it is now confirmed that as well as the new Star Wars movie, there will also be Han Solo and Boba Fett standalone movies. Details are scarce but Disney have confirmed that the Han Solo movie will look at the younger character - let's hope Disney remember the western movies the original Star Wars was based upon, and that we get smoky cantinas, dustcoats flapping and blasters blasting.

I quite like Star Wars but wouldn't consider myself a major fan and so I have no issues with Disney now taking over the franchise -after all I've never considered George Lucus that hot -after all let's be honest the Star Wars franchise consists of one classic SF movie, The Empire Strikes Back, one enjoyable space pantomime  Star Wars itself and several action figure adverts - all of the other bloody movies.

Though there is no way to deny the vast impact Star Wars holds over popular culture, so the new movies will be hotly anticipated. I was twelve years old when the original Star Wars movie came out and I must have seen it in my local cinema at least twice a week for a fortnight - I can remember watching it on a Sunday afternoon and then hiding in the toilets until the next showing, but when I watch it now, as an adult, I can see how creaky and often downright childish it is. Still the movies (even Episode 1 which beats Plan 9 from Outer Space in the corny dialogue stakes) mean a lot to a great many people especially those with shares in action figure companies.

Bring it on Disney and may the profits be with you.....

President Obama likes those titties!!!

It is common knowledge that Obama's got a thing for a well shaped bird - remeber that time he checked out the butt on that hot chick - see pic.

Well it now seems that Obama's not only into tightly formed butts but tits too - Obama’s official  Twitter account, run by his campaign, is following the account “I like tits daily”.

And who can blame the President! Can we look at tits daily? Yes we can, replied Obama.

 And so in honour of the President we present some Star Wars boobs for his delight.  Obama's second term and the Disney/Star Wars deal being the two biggest news stories this last week, you see. Yep, it's the Topical Archive.

Not everyone is happy about

The Disney Star Wars deal:

Star Wars episode 7 news starts to come in from the nerdvine.

It is now confirmed that screen treatments for Star Wars episode 7, 8 and 9  already exist and reports are stating that episode 7 was already in the planning stages before Disney bought Lucusfilm. How Disney and Lucus managed to keep this all a secret until the deal was done is amazing. The key actors, Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker, Harrison Ford as Han Solo and Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia, would appear, in their 50s or 60s. Disney have officially announced that Star Wars:Episode VII would be released in 2015 and additional Star Wars movies would be released following Episode VII every two or three years apart.

Lucasfilm already had Episode VII in early-stage development and the trilogy has story treatments for Episodes VII - IX. Disney chief executive and chairman Bob Iger told the Financial Times that the deal would slightly reduce returns to shareholders over the next two years, but that it would become profitable for them in 2015, once Episode VII is released.

We can also reveal that in August 2012 a meeting took place between George Lucus and  series stars Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill, in which Lucas disclosed that he would not direct the sequels but that it was hoped both actors would reprise their original roles. Other news is that the following directors are in talks with Disney about directing the first of the new Star Wars movies: Matthew Vaughn ^, Steven Spielberg, Neill Blomkamp, Alfonso Cuarón, Darren Aronofsky, Joss Whedon and Colin Trevorrow.

New Star Wars movie to use original cast

Disney have now confirmed that the first of the new Star Wars movies will see big screens in 2015 and that Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher will all get small roles playing their original characters. The hot bet with fans is that the story will be set a number of years after Return of the Jedi and that Luke, Han and Leia are all now aged characters. I'm inclined to trust Disney on this and it is at least certain that they can't make a bigger mess than Lucus did himself with the second trilogy of Star Wars films. I remember being horrified when Disney took over Marvel but look what happened with the Avengers movie. And isn't it something we all want to see - the original cast reprising the original characters though there will be one exception, at least according to director/comedian Kevin Smith who claims to be playing Jabba.

“I can see both sides of it. Because in a way, there was a beginning, a middle, and an end and we all lived happily ever after and that’s the way it should be — and it’s great that people have fond memories, if they do have fond memories.But on the other hand, there’s this ravenous desire on the part of the true believers to have more and more and more material.” Mark Hamill


"Star Wars 7" will be released in 2015, "with more feature films expected to continue the Star Wars saga and grow the franchise well into the future," Disney Spokesman

Star Wars - we're bored now

Thanks to the instance of my young daughters I've just sat through The Phantom Menace in 3D,  and it's no better in 3D, in fact it's worse. The colours are overly saturated and Jar Jar Binks is celluloid toothache. I mean all the character ever does is look up at the sky, ceiling, roof and utter complete drivel, but seeing as he was probably only designed to sell merchandise that isn't really surprising.

 The Phantom Menace is more than a bad movie with one or two good bits, it's a terrible movie with one or two good bits. Okay the pod race, obviously designed with the video game in mind,  is fun and the double light sabres look fantastic, but to get to these parts we have to sit through young Darth Vader yelling, 'Whoopie' a dozen or so times, as well as a plot so convoluted and nonsensical that the viewer is in danger of losing the will to live. It's something to do with tax inspectors - least, I think so.

I mean come on - The Phantom Menace is just a two hour commercial for George Lucas to wring even more bucks out of a stale concept. And releasing the films in 3D in the chronological order - ie the prequels first and then the original movies. Well this is going to destroy the twist at the end of the very best Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back when Vader tells Luke he's his father. OK, we all know that but some kids will come to the series fresh, only discovering the series through the 3D reissues and one of the most powerful scenes in Empire Strikes back will be ruined.

Obviously George hasn't thought the re-release program through properly just as he didn't think the story of The Phantom Menace through before disappointing Star Wars fans everywhere.

There are those that defend The Phantom Menace but that's got to be blind allegiance to the franchise.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended." Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory

I must confess I'm not a huge fan of the Star Wars series and I think that as a whole it's overrated. I went and saw the original Star Wars at least half a dozen times, but then I was twelve at the time and although the film is still watchable it's hardly the intelligent SCI-FI often displayed by the likes of Star Trek, and saying, as many do,  that Star Wars created a mythology as rich as Tolkein's Lord of the Rings saga is, in my opinion, going a bit far.

However the sequel, The Empire Strikes Back is as good a SCI-FI film as any other and I must admit that the original Star Wars is in its own way a classic of cinema, but after that the franchise left me cold. The Ewoks in Return of the Jedi were a transparent attempt at launching a new toy range, and every Star Wars incarnation since has had one eye of the cash register.

Star Wars may have initially been  a great saga but George Lucas has turned it into a pile of crap. And I stick by that statement and   below I present my ten reasons on why Star Wars is crap.

1 - Ewoks - Lucus tries to copyright teddy-bears.

2- Jar Jar Binks - need I say more.

3- Re-issuing The Empire Strikes Back with a dodgty CGI  Jabba tacked on.

4- Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor - episodes 7 and 8?

5-Using an embarrassing plot device as a religion - pity the force wasn't with George.

6 - Making Vader a cute little kid.

7-Creating a situation where the biggest box office goes to the dumbest movies.

8-Making even Samuel L Jackson look uncool.

9- Not allowing Han to shoot first

10- Jar Jar f***ing  Binks

Star Wars v Star Trek

William Shatner, the world's most famous man to have "Shat" in his name, angered Star Wars fans when he claimed in a video interview that Star Trek was far better than Star Wars and that George Lucus's space opera was too obsessed with visuals.

You know what, I think I agree with the Shatner. However Darth Vader has hit back by saying that his helmet was much better than Spock's pointy ears and that unlike the Shat he doesn't wear a corset.


Check out the Shatner's interview below.

The force comes to eBook

For thirty years, people have been writing Star Wars books, building on the canon and quite often ignoring it. That's one big back catalogue and this week , Star Wars literature finally entered the digital age when Lucasfilm and Random House announced that the entire library of Star Wars fiction titles (Del Rey/Bantam Spectra) will be available in eBook format, as will any future releases under the imprints. There are already a dozen or so Star Wars titles available as eBooks but now they will be joined over a hundred more.

The eBooks will all feature extra features:

• An updated Star Wars novels timeline
• An introduction to the six major Star Wars eras: The Old Republic, Rise of the Empire, Rebellion, The New Republic, New Jedi Order, and Legacy
• Over half a dozen additional excerpts from some of the most popular Star Wars books of the last thirty years.

Together with the Harry Potter eBooks which are soon to début it is hoped that series like these will make eReader devices appeal to the younger reader. eReader sales are healthy but a number of consumer reports have revealed that it is the middle aged that are rapidly buying into the technology - that ability to increase the font size helps our poor old eyes, you see!

This bonanza of over 100 titles were launched on 28th June, across all eBook formats.

May the eForce be with you

CAN THERE BE ANYONE STILL DENYING THAT E-BOOKS HAVE GONE MAINSTREAM?

The official Star Wars website  have officially announced the arrival of the Star Wars series in the new digital format.


Star Wars fans will soon be able to enjoy the extensive back catalogue of Del Rey and Bantam Spectra published titles as ebooks.

The more than 100 titles will be available as of June 28, 2011 and all future books will also be available in ebook format.

All books in the series will include additional content such as an updated timeline of the novels universe, excerpts from popular books in the range and “an introduction to the six major Star Wars eras: The Old Republic, Rise of the Empire, Rebellion, The New Republic, New Jedi Order, and Legacy.”

The range include’s Timothy Zahn’s 1991 bestselling ‘Thrawn Trilogy’ which started with Heir to the Empire (see image) and picked up the story of Luke Skywalker and friends five years after the events of Return of the Jedi.

“Readers and fans have been asking for the Star Wars novels to be made available digitally, and we’re excited that we can finally make this happen,” said Howard Roffman, President of Lucas Licensing.

“We’re committed to providing fans with great Star Wars stories that can be enjoyed on any reading platform. We’re thrilled to see the extensive backlist of Del Rey and Bantam titles made available electronically.”

“Over 30 years ago, Del Rey Books published the novelization of the very first Star Wars film,” said Gina Centrello, President of the Random House Publishing Group.

“Since that time, the Star Wars Saga has grown to become a worldwide phenomenon. We’re exceptionally proud to have been at the helm of such a rich and vast literary universe, and thrilled to be working with our partners at Lucasfilm as we move into the future with eBooks.”

The Inner Geek

I'm not a Star Wars fan - in fact I'm one of the few people who think the series is vastly overrated, but even I have to admit that these bookends are cool.

A long time ago, in a comic shop far far away

The comic book's originally published by Marvel and on sale long ago in shops far far away, offered the world the first glimpse of what was to become a global phenomenon. The comics were actually on sale before the film was completed which would explain why readers were confused that the Jabba the Hut scene in the comic was not originally in the finished film - least not until Lucus started tinkering with his digital toolbox decades later.

In fact the comics had actually finished the first movie storyline and were onto all original stories by the time the movie hit cinemas.


Now the original comics are available to buy again in graphic novel format from those nice people at Dark Horse. The first volume collects the first 26 issues of the original Star Wars Comic and is available now.

New Star Wars title

Comics seem to be fighting back in the British marketplace  - Titan Books have just launched its new Star Wars Galaxy series. The book is in the same format as Titan's superhero titles and like those titles which are mostly American reprints, this title features the best of the various Dark Horse Star Wars material.

It's out there now.

Titan are making their name as one of the cooler publishing houses - they handle much of the Marvel/DC titles for the UK, as well as classic graphic novel reprints from iconic British comic books and recently it was announced that next year they will be publishing the Hard Case Crime novels.

Luke Skywalker is 58 - SHOCK NEWS

Recent news that Mary Hamill is to make his directorial debut didn't faze me but what shocked me was that in the text of the story it said that the actor is now 58 - Can you believe it - Luke Skywalker is 58! By my reckoning that would make Yoda about 643 - incredible.

The 58-year-old, famed for playing Luke Skywalker in the first three of George Lucas's sci-fi movies, (the good ones) announced the plans at the Cannes Film Festival on Monday.

The £5 million project will bring to life The Black Pearl – a story he originally wrote as a screenplay but ended up being published as a comic mini-series

AVATAR BLASTS STAR WARS

The Chicago Tribune carries the report than James Cameron's Avatar has now taken more than Star Wars in domestic ticket sales - "Avatar's" domestic total stands at $491.8 million after taking in another $41.3 million over the weekend, The Associated Press reports.

"Star Wars" made $460.9 million domestically in its original run and several reissues. Factoring in today's higher admission prices, "Star Wars" is ahead on tickets sold.

"Titanic" made $600 million; "The Dark Knight," $533.3 million.