SMOKE - NOT IN MY CINEMA

As one of those modern day lepers, or smokers as we are most commonly known, I get annoyed by all the anti-smoking hysteria trotted out in the press on an almost daily basis. Yeah, we know smoking's bad for you but give us a break - and now not content with banning smoking anywhere other than in the privacy of your own home with a bucket over your head, the do-gooders are hitting out at movies that show people smoking.

Dr Christopher Millett of the Imperial College London and fellow nut Professor Stanton Glantz of California University are calling for an overhaul of the movie ratings system, asking for films that show images of smoking to be released with 18 certificates. These men, who really could be better employed, claim that awarding films with smoking an 18 rating would give an economic incentive for smoking to be left out of films all together.

The two men have been involved in a study that will be published in Tobacco Control and found that 5.07 billion tobacco impressions were delivered to UK cinema-going audiences between 2001 and 2006, 28% more than those served up in US cinemas.

Before anyone starts to defend this they should consider the full implications. If these guys get their way it would mean that the films like The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Sherlock Holmes, Problem Child and most of the James Bond movies would be 18 only. And that's not to mention poor old, Chain Smoking Lesbian Vampires II.


Me, I'm gonna smoke some Burley and contemplate.